Here's an excerpt!
This detective business is giving me a headache. I contacted Strapped For Cash via a number on the website, and had what could only be described as, a disturbing conversation with someone describing herself as Ms Madame Stern-Crop. I asked her what services places like hers offered. She asked me if I had been a naughty boy. I said not unless you want to count not getting into the corners with the vacuum, then sometimes life is too short.
She called me names. She said I was a dirty little bugger and I needed to be taught a lesson. I informed her quite strongly that wasn’t the case. Quite normally I would apply the ribbed tubing and the appropriate triangular attachment, so that I could venture where the on-board brushes in the base housing had failed to go thank you very much. She then called me a complete amateur and then hung up on me.